Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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