Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
