She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
