why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like death gave me a hand job
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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