belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
