Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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