Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize