my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize