I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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