why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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