So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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