I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
