I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The adults are the big ones right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
