Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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