that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
