come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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