are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You pole danced in your parka.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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