Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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