Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
