The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
