He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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