your parents love me but you hate me
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
