Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
