eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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