My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
