this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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