I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
