I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
