Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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