I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
