just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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