is your mom at the bar?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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