We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
