Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize