he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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