idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
