Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
