i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
