can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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