I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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