shes about as inviting as chlamydia
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
