she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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