If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
