Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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