you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
