is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
