i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize