I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
