im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
