We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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