he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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