Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
