my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
