Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
